Why “Better Over There” Won’t Make You Happier

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “When I finally get there, then I’ll be happy”?

Maybe “there” is a certain number on the scale, a larger amount in your bank account, a new career, a thriving relationship, or finally launching that business idea you’ve been dreaming about.

We’ve all done it—set a goal and believed that once we arrived, everything would feel better. Life would make sense. We would finally be at peace.

But here’s the truth you might need to hear today:
If you’re not careful, chasing “over there” can rob you of joy right here.

This mindset isn’t just exhausting—it’s deceptive. It keeps you striving but never arriving, stuck in a cycle of dissatisfaction.

Let’s unpack why this happens, what Scripture says about it, and how to trade striving for peace, contentment, and true progress—starting today.

The “Better Over There” Mindset: What Is It?

The “better over there” mindset is the belief that your life will finally feel whole, joyful, or meaningful only after you reach a specific goal. It tells you that your current season isn’t enough and that peace exists somewhere in the distance.

While goal-setting is important (and biblical), this mindset can cause:

  • Chronic dissatisfaction with the present
  • A sense of failure, even after accomplishments
  • Burnout from constant striving
  • Delayed joy and gratitude

The Danger of Constantly Chasing the Next Thing

Let’s explore how this mindset keeps you stuck:

1. You Disconnect From the Present Moment

When all your focus is on the next goal, you stop noticing what God is doing in your life right now. You miss out on the small wins, the moments of rest, and the lessons in today’s journey.

“This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” – Psalm 118:24

2. You Delay Your Own Joy and Contentment

Believing peace lives in the future teaches your brain to delay happiness. It trains you to think, “I can’t enjoy life until I get there.” But that moving target just keeps shifting.

3. You Attach Your Worth to Achievement

When your identity is tied to outcomes, every “failure” feels personal. You judge your value by what you produce rather than who you are.

A Real-Life Example: Always Chasing, Never Arriving

Maybe this sounds familiar…

You set a goal to lose 20 pounds. You meal prep, work out, stay focused—and you hit the goal. For a moment, you feel proud.

But before long, that feeling fades. Suddenly, you want to lose 10 more pounds. Or you shift your focus: “Maybe I’ll finally feel confident when I declutter the house…or get more clients…or write that book.”

Each milestone brings a momentary burst of satisfaction—but it never lasts.
And slowly, you realize: you’re living in a constant state of “not there yet.”

That’s the trap. And it’s time to break free.

Biblical Wisdom: You Were Never Meant to Find Fulfillment in Goals Alone

God understands our desire for purpose and progress—but He also knows we weren’t created to find our worth in our work.

“What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?” – Ecclesiastes 1:3 (NIV)
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart…” – Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)

Your soul was designed to long for something more than just goals and accomplishments—because you were made for eternity.

Peace isn’t a destination. Peace is a person—Jesus. And the good news? He’s already with you.

“My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” – Exodus 33:14

How to Shift Your Mindset (and Still Pursue Growth)

Do you want to keep moving forward without falling into the “better over there” trap?
Here are some mindset shifts to help you:

Instead of: “I’ll be happy when I reach my goal.”

Say: “I can find purpose and peace right where I am, even as I grow.”

Instead of: “Everything will make sense once I get there.”

Say: “God is giving me clarity through the journey—not just the destination.”

Instead of: “Over there is better.”

Say: “God is using this season to prepare me for what’s next.”

Growth Without Striving: What to Do Instead

Here’s how to move forward from a place of intention—not pressure:

✔ Set goals from love, not lack.

Don’t chase a goal to fix yourself—pursue it because you’re worth the investment.

✔ Celebrate weekly wins.

Look for small ways God is working in your life now. Gratitude fuels motivation.

✔ Journal or get coached.

Pay attention to your thoughts. Catch the lies. Replace them with truth. A coach can help you reframe what’s keeping you stuck.

What You Really Want Isn’t the Goal…

Let’s be honest—what you’re really chasing isn’t the goal itself.
You’re chasing how you think you’ll feel when you get there:

  • Peace
  • Confidence
  • Joy
  • Fulfillment

But those emotions don’t come from the end result. They come from how you think, how you show up, and what you believe about yourself today.

So let’s stop delaying joy. Let’s stop striving for peace that’s already available in Christ.

Final Encouragement: You’re Not Behind

I’m here today to tell you that you’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re not meant to live in a constant state of “I’m almost there.”

“Godliness with contentment is great gain.” – 1 Timothy 6:6

You don’t have to wait for your next milestone to feel peace. You can experience purpose, clarity, and joy right where you are.

Ready to stop striving and start living a life you love—right now?
This is the exact kind of mindset work we do in my coaching sessions.
I’d love to help you break the cycle of “better over there” and build a life rooted in purpose, not pressure.

👉 Click here to book your free Clarity Call or learn more about coaching.