Letting Go of the Dream That Was Never Yours
I’ve planted a small garden almost every year.
Every spring, I’d scroll past images of homesteaders harvesting fresh vegetables and tending to sun-drenched gardens with soft music in the background and chickens roaming freely nearby. I’d listen faithfully to their podcasts and watch all their YouTube videos. It all looked so right. So fulfilling. So peaceful. So perfect, that simple life they lead.
And something inside me whispered, Maybe that’s the life I need. Maybe that’s what will make me feel grounded. Relaxed. Whole. Fulfilled. Happy.
So I’d head to the store, buy seeds, plants, and soil, and tell myself, This year will be different. This year I’ll enjoy it. This year I’ll become the woman I keep imagining—the one who finds joy in the simple, earthy rhythms of garden life.
But year after year, I found myself dreading the dirt. Getting irritated with the weeds. Procrastinating on the watering. Resenting the bugs and the heat. And deep down, feeling like I had failed again.
Why couldn’t I love something that seemed so good?
Why didn’t it feel like the “right” life for me—even when it looked perfect on the outside?
The Pressure to Be Someone You’re Not
Maybe you’ve done this, too.
You’ve followed the examples of others—maybe on social media, in your community, or even in church—trying to step into a version of womanhood, motherhood, or spirituality that felt beautiful but never quite fit you.
You tried to be the peaceful homemaker, the homeschool mom, the morning person, the planner girl, the woman who grows food from the earth and loves every aspect of preserving it.
But it wasn’t you. Not deep down.
And instead of asking, “What do I actually want?” you kept planting. You kept pushing. You kept hoping this time would be different.
And when it wasn’t, the enemy whispered the same lie again: You’re just not good enough. As a woman, you should want to do these things .
When the Life You Built Isn’t Bearing Fruit
I often talk to women who feel frustrated and ashamed because they’ve worked so hard to create a life that isn’t actually working for them.
They’ve said yes to expectations they never questioned. They’ve mimicked others because it seemed “godly” or “wise.” They’ve chased someone else’s version of success or peace—then wondered why it didn’t feel satisfying.
Just like my garden.
I wasn’t planting from a place of authentic living. I was planting out of pressure that I put on myself. Out of the fear that maybe who I really was… wasn’t enough.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned through my own self-coaching and spiritual growth:
God doesn’t bless the life we pretend to love. He blesses the life we live in truth.
Giving Yourself Permission to Let Go
One day last spring, I walked outside, looked at my garden, and finally gave myself permission to stop.
I pulled up the plants—not with guilt, but with peace.
Because I realized I didn’t have to become someone I’m not. I didn’t have to keep performing or pushing to prove something to myself (or anyone else).
And that small act of letting go became an emotional reset to so many other areas of my life.
I said goodbye to the version that I kept trying to force myself to be—and made room for the woman I truly am—with interests and hobbies that truly feel like me.
What if Letting Go is the First Step Toward Purpose?
Sometimes we cling to things simply because we’ve already invested time, money, or energy into them. But if we’re honest, we already know they’re not bearing good fruit.
If a garden keeps leaving you tired and resentful… it might not be your soil to till.
If a relationship, habit, or calling leaves you feeling disconnected from who you really are, it might be time to ask:
Am I doing this because I feel led—or because I feel like I should “want” to do it?
Jesus said, “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30)
So why are so many of us carrying heavy loads that just don’t fit us?
You’re Allowed to Change Direction
The truth is this: You are allowed to lay something down. You’re allowed to change your mind.
Even if you started it with good intentions.
Even if other people love it.
Even if you’ve poured years (and hundreds of dollars) into it.
Even if it “looks right.”
You are allowed to stop trying to keep something alive just because you once believed it would fulfill you.
Peace doesn’t come from forcing yourself to bloom where you weren’t meant to be planted. It comes from choosing alignment with God’s plans for your life.
You Can’t Thrive While Pretending
Whether it’s a garden, a job, a routine, or a role you thought you were supposed to love—what if releasing it is actually the path to becoming the real you?
This is the heart of the work I do as a Christian life coach: Helping women like you reconnect with (or discover for the first time) their true identity, listen to God’s voice above the noise, and create a life that reflects their unique calling and desires.
And it often starts with the courage to let something go.
Journal Prompts for Self-Reflection
- What in my life feels like a burden, even though it “should” feel good?
- Have I been trying to become someone I’m not?
- What would I feel relieved to quit—even if it seems like I should keep doing it?
- Is there an area where I need to ask God, “Did You call me to this—or am I trying to fit in?”
- What might open up in my life if I gave myself permission to walk away from this?
Ready for a Fresh Start?
If this message resonates with you—if you’re tired of pretending, pushing, or feeling out of place—I want to invite you to take one small, brave step: Get in touch to schedule a free consultation where we’ll process what needs to be uprooted, and plant something that’s actually yours.
You’re not failing. You’re discovering who you really are. And that’s where your true purpose begins.