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How to Feel Alive Again When Life Feels Meaningless

Have you ever looked in the mirror and barely recognized the woman staring back at you?

Maybe your hair color has grown out or gone gray—and you’re not sure you even care anymore. Maybe your clothes don’t fit like they used to, and your body feels foreign to you. You keep telling yourself you’ll get it together, but day after day, the motivation just doesn’t show up.

If you’re anything like me, you know what it’s like to fall into a rut—not just with your appearance, but with your whole life. You feel disconnected, discouraged, and stuck in a fog you can’t quite explain. You’re not falling apart, but you’re not thriving either. You’re just… existing.

If that’s where you are, I want you to know something right from the start:

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re just in a rut—and ruts can be climbed out of.

This post is for you and for me. Because I’ve felt that apathy, too. And while I don’t have a magic fix, I do know a few ways to gently turn the tide and start caring again. Let’s walk through this together.

What Is a Rut, Really?

A rut isn’t just a bad day. It’s a pattern of apathy—one that slowly steals your spark. It’s the gradual loss of joy, motivation, and energy that makes even the smallest things feel overwhelming. You stop trying. You stop hoping. You start surviving instead of living.

Spiritually, mentally, emotionally—apathy affects every aspect of your life.

Sometimes it starts with something small: skipping your quiet time, ignoring the laundry, avoiding the mirror. Other times, it’s triggered by something big—grief, a health change, a relationship strain, or a major life transition. Before you know it, you’re not sure how to come back to yourself.

But here’s the good news:

You don’t have to feel 100% ready to start moving forward. You just have to be willing to take one small, honest step.

1. Acknowledge Where You Are—Without Judging Yourself

The first step in getting out of a rut is admitting you’re in one. Not with guilt. Not with judgment. Just with honesty.

Take a deep breath. Look around your life. How are you feeling? What have you stopped doing that once made you feel alive or confident or connected?

Write it down. Speak it out. Pray it through. You can’t heal what you pretend doesn’t exist.

“He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” — Psalm 23:3 (ESV)

The Lord doesn’t shame you for feeling lost. He simply invites you to come back to Him and to yourself.

2. Identify What Hurts

Many times, apathy is a protective response. It shields us from pain—emotional exhaustion, disappointment, insecurity. So the question becomes: What am I avoiding feeling?

Maybe it’s grief over how your body has changed. Maybe it’s frustration with how your life looks compared to how you thought it would. Maybe it’s fear that it’s “too late” to feel excited again.

The truth is: You can’t move forward without grieving what’s been lost. So let yourself feel the hard things—but don’t unpack and live there. Let God hold you in the middle of it.

3. Reconnect With the Why Beneath the What

It’s hard to care about your hair or your health or your home when you’ve lost your sense of purpose.

So instead of asking, “Why can’t I get it together?” try asking, “What am I really needing right now?”

Is it beauty? Strength? Dignity? Joy? Connection?

Getting out of a rut doesn’t start with forcing yourself to care about surface-level things. It starts with reconnecting to what matters most—your values, your calling, and your worth in Christ.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” — Proverbs 31:25

You are more than your reflection. But your reflection still deserves love.

4. Choose One Small Thing—and Do It on Purpose

Ruts don’t clear overnight. They are softened by small acts of intention.

Pick one area to gently re-engage with. Not to fix yourself—but to honor yourself.

  • Put on a pair of jeans instead of sweatpants.
  • Brush your hair and style it—just for you.
  • Go for a walk and breathe deeply.
  • Drink water and bless your body.
  • Open your Bible and ask God to meet you in the mess.

You don’t have to do everything. You just need to do something. Momentum is born in motion, not in waiting to feel motivated.

5. Surround Yourself With Truth-Tellers, Not Just Cheerleaders

When you’re in a rut, surface encouragement often falls flat. What we need most is truth spoken in love—people who remind us who we are when we forget.

Reach out to someone who really knows you and sees your heart. Let them in. Don’t isolate yourself. Ruts only deepen in silence.

And if no one comes to mind? Start by speaking truth to yourself.

“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” — Song of Songs 4:7
“You are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.” — Ephesians 2:10

This is your true identity. Even when you don’t feel it.

6. Let God Be the One Who Restores You

This might be the most important piece of all: You don’t have to climb out of the rut alone.

Jesus never said, “Get it together, then come to me.” He said, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Rest is where restoration begins. Not hustle. Not hiding. Just showing up as you are and letting Him remind you who you’ve always been.

Your apathy is not your identity. Your rut is not your forever. And your beauty, purpose, and excitement for life can be renewed.

Journaling Prompts for When You Feel Stuck in a Rut

Take a moment to sit with these questions:

  1. What areas of my life feel neglected or disconnected right now?
  2. What have I stopped doing that used to bring me joy or peace?
  3. What emotions might I be avoiding by staying numb or disengaged?
  4. What small act of self-care or intention can I choose today?
  5. What truth from Scripture do I need to cling to right now?

You’re Worth Coming Back For

If no one has told you this lately: You’re still in there. The vibrant, beautiful, powerful woman God created hasn’t disappeared. She may be tired. She may be quiet. But she’s not gone.

Getting out of a rut isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about coming home to who you already are.

And even if it takes time—even if it’s messy—you are worth the effort. You are worth the care. You are worth the comeback.

Keep going, friend. One gentle, loving step at a time.

A Final Note

If any part of this spoke to you, I’d love to hear from you. You don’t have to have it all figured out—you can just send me a message to say, “Me too,” or share what part hit home.

I read every message, and I’m here, not just as a coach, but as a woman walking through the same real-life messiness with you. I’d be honored to walk alongside you as you take your next small, brave step.

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