Why You Don’t Love Your Life

As women, we are created to live purpose-filled lives, but most of us are so busy with the day-to-day tasks of survival that we never discover what that purpose is.

Our days are filled with things that have to be done: taking care of our family, performing well in our career, giving back to our community, managing our money, and keeping a clean house. And we’re told that we must balance our time so that we take care of our own health, continue to grow both personally and spiritually while also having enough energy left over to do something fun once in awhile.

Striving for the perfectly balanced life is exhausting. Many of us find ourselves trapped in cycles of discontentment, longing for something more but unsure of what that is or how to attain it.

So, why aren’t we living that perfectly balanced life – a life we truly love? Today, I’m going to share 5 things that I believe are roadblocks that keep us from living our ideal life, and I’ll give you some suggestions on how to break through them.

1. You’re living in the past.

Your brain is naturally wired for survival – to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and be efficient. Your brain has proof that everything you went through to reach this point in life kept you alive. It’s main job is to keep you safe, and it believes that the most efficient way to do that is for you to stay stuck in the past because you survived it.

Creating a new path for yourself requires energy, but your brain likes the path of least resistance. That can make it difficult to move forward. Once you understand how your brain works, you’ll be able to start making choices from your prefrontal cortex (your logical brain) and not stay stuck in the past.

2. You don’t know what you really want.

One reason you may not be living a life you truly love is because you’re not sure what you want. Maybe you’ve never taken the time to really think about it. But God knows, and he’d love to hear it from you. Psalm 37:4-5 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.”

Just as the seasons in nature change, our seasons of life change. What you wanted five years ago may be completely different than what you want today. Take some time to think about what you want and write it down. Clarity is the first step to creating a different life. And if it aligns with God’s will, he’s thrilled to help you.

3. Your “why” isn’t strong enough.

When you embark on a new journey, you have to start by asking yourself why you want to go there. Whether you’re considering a new school, job, hobby, relationship, or whatever it is, you have to start by asking yourself, “Why do I want this?”

The fact is that whatever you’re considering in your life, things will always be 50% easy and 50% hard. It’s not too difficult to pursue your dreams and desires when things are going well. It’s during those tough times when you have to dig in deep and remember your “why”. If your reason isn’t strong enough, it’ll be easy to just give up.

4. You lack confidence.

If you’re not confident in yourself, feelings like fear, doubt, inadequacy, or discontentment can creep in. You may fear failure or rejection, causing you to settle for a mediocre life rather than stepping out in faith and pursuing your dreams. However, confidence is a skill that you can cultivate, not a personality trait that you were either born with or without.

Confidence is the ability to trust yourself – to trust in your skills and judgment to handle any situation that comes your way. And the way you build confidence is by always showing up for yourself and holding yourself accountable.

5. You’re not living with intention.

If you live in a constant state of busyness, you may never give yourself time to slow down and create a plan to reach your goals. It’s easy to add more things to your plate which can cause stress and overwhelm. But you can actually do more when you focus on doing less. You have to be able to scrutinize everything in your schedule so that you intentionally plan time for the things that are most important.

Mary Kay Ash often said, “”God first, family second, and career third.” When you’re intentional about prioritizing your relationships with God and family above all else, you’ll find that it’s easier to prune out all the things that are less important so that you can focus on the things that are most important.

Create a Plan for Your Life

While there may be many other reasons why you aren’t living a life you love, the good news is that you get to choose what comes next. Your destiny is your responsibility. Don’t let your past, or other people, talk you out of becoming the woman that God created you to be.

You have to let go of the past, spend some time thinking about what you really want out of life, understand why you want it, cultivate the confidence to go after it, create a plan of action, and stay committed to doing the work no matter what. You will eventually reach the place in your life where you look back and thank your past self for taking care of you.

It’s not too late: you’re never too old (or too young) to reset your life. Your life is a gift, and it was given to you for a purpose that only you can fulfill. You have a clean slate each morning when you awake. You have the ability to decide exactly who you want to be. If you’re going to make a change in your life, it starts with believing, “I’m worth it.”

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11